


Alone: Bad, Friend: Good!

by eprime



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: AU, M/M, rs_career_fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-07
Updated: 2010-07-07
Packaged: 2017-10-10 10:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/98734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eprime/pseuds/eprime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Hogwarts. AU. The final confrontation with Peter messes with Sirius' head so much he breaks out of Azkaban a week later and goes a bit mad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone: Bad, Friend: Good!

[1. Rats and Traps]

Peter is backed up against the bricks of the storefront while Sirius stands with his wand raised in front of him. The passing muggles barely spare them more than a curious look as they move by on the sidewalk. Peter is sweating, his eyes dart from side to side and then back to Sirius as he steps forward and points his wand squarely at Peter's chest.

"Why, Wormtail?" Sirius is incandescent with barely contained rage, but he wants to hear this. He has to hear what possible justifications Peter thought he had for creating this insane nightmare Sirius is living now. Faint tremors shake him making his skin feel as if it is crawling like a muggle conveyor belt across his body.

"Why?" Peter licks his lips and offers Sirius a sunny smile at odds with the way he twitches back against the wall as if he could melt into the bricks. But this isn't Diagon Alley, and Sirius isn't about to let him go now that he finally has him cornered. "Because I could."

Sirius snarls. "You weren't fit to lick his shoes, you sniveling traitor!" His fingers flex around his wand and he opens his mouth to breathe a spell.

"Wait!" Peter looks frightened now, desperate, and Sirius relishes it. He waits a moment to watch Peter break a little more. "It wasn't my idea! It was Remus! He brought me in, and they...they threatened my _mum_. You know she's ill and alone. I'm all she has."

As Sirius' expression turns shocked and uncertain, Peter talks faster. "I tried to tell you before. I tried to _tell_ you he was the spy. You kept defending him. I...I couldn't risk them hurting my mum, I just couldn't. But I tried to warn you about him." Peter's voice drops to a whisper. "The Dark Lord, he offered the werewolves so much. You know how much Remus hated taking money from James and you. His pride..."

At the sound of James' name, Sirius' face hardens again. He draws himself up and spits at Peter. "You were the Secret Keeper. _You_ betrayed James and Lily."

Peter lets out a noise that sounds like a sob and lets his head fall forward. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to do it." His shoulders are shaking and Sirius looks on in disgust. "But it had to be done. Wartime, you know. Certain sacrifices have to be made." It's when Peter raises his head and Sirius sees with dawning horror that he hasn't been crying at all that Sirius realizes just what a fool he is.

"Lily and James, Sirius," Peter cries loudly. "How could you?"

Sirius tightens his hand around his wand but before he can speak the world explodes.

 

[2. Homecomings and Curses]

Pain flares in his head as Remus slits open his eyes to the unexpected brightness. He should still be in the shed on the edge of the forest where he has gone through his transformations every time since he left Hogwarts except for when he was on missions for the Order. He tries not to think about the nights he'd run through the forest under the moonlight with his friends instead of being caged in the dark. Rather, he focuses on the fact that instead of being locked away, he seems to be laid out on the hard floor of the crumbling cottage which is a good hundred feet from the shed he knows he chained himself within the night before.

The transformation was bad, he can tell. He can feel the gashes where the wolf marked him with claws and teeth and even just lying still against the cold wood seems almost too difficult to bear. He thinks about lying there forever not bothering to dress his wounds or drink or eat again. If only he could simply stop thinking, as well. James, Lily, Peter...Sirius.

> _He crept down the hall and peered around the corner to the main room. It was empty, and there didn't seem to be any evidence of a struggle or any kind of disturbance at all. The only thing out of order was a newspaper lying on the floor next to the table where the Order members often conducted meetings and debriefings._
> 
> He stepped forward, bending down to retrieve the paper when he heard a noise behind him. Wand out, he spun around, a spell forming on his lips. Dumbledore stood there looking grave and as inscrutable as ever. Remus stumbled, trying to halt the movements he'd begun.
> 
> "Headmaster," he gasped as his heart tripped out a rapid beat.
> 
> "My apologies, Remus," Dumbledore said. "I came as soon as I was able after you tripped the ward."
> 
> Remus just shook his head. "No, it's fine, but what--did something happen?"
> 
> "You came straight here today?" Dumbledore asked as he moved toward the small kitchenette lining one side of the room and flicked his wand at the kettle.
> 
> Bewildered and feeling the unpleasant tug of anxiety churning the acid in his stomach Remus nodded. "Yes, as always. Headmaster, please. What's going on?"
> 
> "Please sit down, Remus." Dumbledore gestured to one of the few comfortable arm chairs the room contained. "You look quite unwell, and I think a bit of tea would do you good."
> 
> Almost automatically, Remus did as he was told. He watched Dumbledore take out two cups, fill them, and float them over to the small table next to Remus. Dumbledore took a seat opposite Remus and fixed him with a solemn but penetrating gaze. "You've been with the werewolf pack since last we spoke?"
> 
> "What?" Remus stared back. "Yes, of course. Why are you asking?" Dumbledore held his gaze for a long moment before his expression softened and simultaneously became more sorrowful. With a heavy sigh he leaned back into his chair. "My dear boy, I am sorry to have to tell you that there has been a most tragic series of events while you've been away."
> 
> Remus felt his veins turn to ice. "No," he breathed. _Sirius_. He'd been caught. The Death Eaters had caught and tortured him and now he was--he was-- The light in the room seemed to grow brighter, filling and whiting out his vision and Remus could hardly hear Dumbledore's voice until a firm hand was gripping his shoulder and giving him a sharp jerk. "Remus!"
> 
> Remus stared up at Dumbledore in shock. "Drink your tea, lad."
> 
> "Sirius..."
> 
> A shadow passed over Dumbledore's face as he pressed the tea cup in Remus' hands. "Sirius Black is alive and...in safekeeping," Dumbledore responded.
> 
> Remus sagged back in relief. Not dead. Unthinking, he raised his cup to his lips and took a deep gulp. Dumbledore watched him carefully.
> 
> "Then what...who?"
> 
> Dumbledore bowed his head. "Three nights ago, Voldemort found James and Lily. He went to Godric's Hollow. It was...destroyed. James and Lily..."
> 
> The tea cup dropped to the floor and shattered as Remus twisted his head back and forth in denial. No. _No_. It's impossible. "How?" he moaned. "How is that possible?"
> 
> "Remus, listen to me," Dumbledore ordered, leaning forward again to place his broad hand over Remus' white-knuckled fists. "James and Lily died, but Harry...Harry lived. When Voldemort tried to use the killing curse on Harry it rebounded and Voldemort appears to be...well, gone. For the time being, at least."
> 
> "What?" It's all Remus can think to say. "What? How? This doesn't--none of this makes any sense. It's all impossible." _Impossible_. James and Lily weren't dead. They couldn't be because Sirius was their secret keeper and he would never never betray them. This was all so _stupid_.
> 
> "You're wrong," he says, still shaking his head. "You're wrong. How could he get past the Fidelius Charm? Sirius would never tell." He smiled up at Dumbledore triumphantly.
> 
> "I am deeply sorry to tell you, that is exactly what he did." The look of pity and sorrow that Dumbledore gave him made Remus want to scream. He wanted to pound his fists and smash the glass in those ridiculous spectacles until the shards ground into his skin and made it bleed and bleed just the way Remus was bleeding now.
> 
> "Liar," he hissed. "Or just mad. He would _never_. _Never_."
> 
> "I know how you must feel--" Remus watched Dumbledore, the urge to rend and crush raging in his chest. "But you must hear me. Sirius was apprehended in a muggle street. Peter Pettigrew had gone to confront him, to ask him why he'd done it. Sirius cast a curse that killed several muggles and your friend Peter."
> 
> Remus leapt out of his chair, hands working convulsively at his sides and Dumbledore had to raise his voice to be heard over his denials. "The only thing left that they could find of Peter was a finger. Sirius was laughing as they took him away."
> 
> "You--" Wild-eyed, Remus gasped for air that didn't seem to fill his lungs properly. He couldn't think. Couldn't...
> 
> Silently, Dumbledore pulled out his wand and summoned the paper from the floor. "If you doubt me." He offered it to Remus.
> 
> There was nothing in that paper that could make Remus believe him. Nothing. But his hands trembled as he took it and unfolded it to look down at the front page. Sirius stared out him, eyes bright with madness and his head thrown back in wild laughter.

Remus shudders and lets his worry about what he might have done last night force his memories aside for the moment and in a burst of effort he struggles to raise his head. Had he broken his bonds somehow? Had someone come and had he hurt them? His vision goes bright as he attempts to lift up on his elbows, and he slumps back down to the floor with a guttural moan.

He hears his name being called even though the blood is pounding thick in his ears and his eyelids flutter open. Cool fingers touch him, the voice hushes him, and the face he can't see because it's outlined in gold from the open door behind him moves closer.

"Sirius," he whispers.

"_Imperio_," Sirius says.

When Remus comes to again he is sitting unmoving in front of the large table that runs the length of the kitchen. The house elf, Kreacher, putters from sink to cupboard putting away dishes and silverware in between his mutterings and the dark glances he tosses over his shoulder.

The voices of Sirius and his mother echo down the stairwell. They are up there an indeterminate amount of time and the shouting only gets louder and more vicious the longer it goes on. By the time the voices fall silent the kitchen has gone dark and Kreacher has disappeared. Remus still sits in the same spot, floating on a wonderful feeling of well-being.

Heavy footsteps sound on the stairs behind Remus and he knows in some distant part of his mind that it is Sirius. The thought doesn't bother him and he doesn't worry about what they are doing in a place Sirius swore never to step foot in again. He doesn't worry about how Sirius escaped from Azkaban and what his intentions are now. He is content to sit in the dark and feel Sirius' presence and wait for whatever comes next.

"Get up," Sirius finally says and Remus pushes back the chair and stands, slowly turning around to face him. Sirius' face is in shadows. Only the sconces along the wall down the stairwell cast any light into the room. It is very quiet except for the sound of Sirius breathing. It has a ragged, uneven edge to it. Mrs. Black. The vague thought drifts through Remus' mind. She always did have that effect on Sirius.

The flame of a table lamp flickers to life and Sirius steps forward, his eyes cataloging the scrapes and bruises that still cover Remus' visible skin. Remus remembers now with a dreamy clarity how Sirius had cleaned and dressed his wounds on the floor of the cottage near the woods. Flashes of images; Sirius wringing a cloth and pressing the cold compress to his forehead, white bandages being wound around his ribs.

"I never thought I'd live to see you in this place," Sirius says in a low voice, sounding almost rueful and he reaches out to brush Remus' long fringe out of his eyes. Remus stares back mutely, awash in a sea of contentment. "We're staying, you know, for a while. I don't know how long, really. Walburga wasn't exactly gracious in her welcome as you might have heard, but she came 'round in the end." He laughs, horribly. "She's a bit short on sons at the moment. Besides, if there's one thing dear old mum understands it's the thirst for revenge."

Remus doesn't move as Sirius' thumb brushes over his cheekbone and down Remus' jaw. "It's a horrible old place and no mistake, but it's well warded and unplottable. My father strengthened everything, added some nasty surprises, before he died. After Regulus was killed." Sirius smiles in a way that would have made Remus go cold if he was capable of processing it at the moment. "And--you'll find this terribly ironic and amusing--we'll be casting the Fidelius on the place tonight." His fingers curl around Remus' jaw and tighten. "This time, of course, I _will_ be the Secret Keeper."

Remus doesn't fight when Sirius lifts his chin and leans in. He doesn't even think about it. "You are going to help me," Sirius says slowly, thoughtfully, his mouth inches away from Remus'. "You are going to help me find Wormtail so that I can skin him alive, and then you are going to help me go after every other Death Eater out there still walking free. And maybe I'll save something special for Fudge and those ministry fools and sycophants who shipped me off to Azkaban without a trial. And after that..." Warm breath ghosts over Remus' face as Sirius whispers. "I'll see about taking care of you."

For a moment, Sirius' eyes glitter and his mouth moves just a fraction closer but then Kreacher's voice sounds from the top of the stairwell and Sirius pulls back and drops his hand away from Remus. "Not now, though, I'm afraid. The past several days have been somewhat draining what with all the death and dementors and harrowing escapes." That horrible, unhinged laugh rings out again, and Sirius turns to face Kreacher who has sidled into the room behind him.

"Find the werewolf a place to sleep. Don't worry about the niceties." He shoots a mocking glance at Remus. "Remus hates charity." Ignoring Kreacher's sneering mutters, Sirius trudges up the stairs, one hand trailing the wall. "Feel free to have a look around, but I'd advise you to stay away from my mother, and do try not to touch anything. It could be hazardous to your health."

The sound of his laughter rings in Remus' head long after Sirius has disappeared, weaving its way through Remus' dreams, the only sour note as he drifts in a blissful slumber.

 

[3. Tea and Madness]

"Kreacher is a house elf," Kreacher hisses, his ears tilting back to display his affront. "Kreacher is not needing help from the likes of you. _Dirty werewolf sullying Mistress' home_."

It has been three days since Remus has seen Sirius and this is the first day he has found himself able to speak. The comforting fog has almost cleared from his mind and he knows with a bit of effort he could cast it off completely. The only thing is he really doesn't want it gone.

The unutterable bliss, the overwhelming sense of relief from all responsibility the fog provides is only too appealing, and when Remus is filled up with it he doesn't have to think about everything that has happened or what is going to happen next. The past two days he has stayed below stairs under the mistrustful eye of Kreacher, but as the _Imperio_ fades Remus is forced to consider the situation.

Sirius has, inconceivably, escaped from Azkaban. Sirius has brought Remus to his hated childhood home. He has implied that he was _not_ the Secret Keeper for James and Lily. He has implied that Peter is alive. Sirius, most definitely, wants Peter dead. Sirius thinks Remus has been working with the Death Eaters, but Sirius wants Remus alive. For now.

Sirius is, arguably, mad. But...but...if Sirius can be believed then he hadn't betrayed James and Lily, he is innocent. That thought fills Remus with almost as much bliss as the _Imperio_ does. Sirius might still be mad; mad with grief for James and Lily, mad with exposure to the dementors. But he might be brought out of it, if he can be made to listen.

Kreacher is still angrily declaiming as he scurries around the kitchen.

"Do you know where Sirius is?" Remus finally asks. He is worried by the long absence, and he wonders if perhaps Sirius had abandoned him indefinitely while he went off on some ill thought out quest for vengeance.

"Master is in his room," Kreacher answers. "Master hasn't left for days, _ungrateful son, making Mistress fret and take to her rooms, such a devoted mother_. Master has warded his room, won't let anyone in. But Kreacher hears him outside the keyhole. Poor master," Kreacher says spitefully."Crying out so loud, dreaming of his wicked ways. Disgraceful boy."

That decides Remus, and ignoring Kreacher's protests he takes the tray of tea things himself and braves the stairs. He listens for any sounds as he creeps past the parlour, hoping Mrs. Black is still shut up in her room, and tries to remember what Sirius has told him about his home. Sirius' bedroom should be one floor up and he carries the tray carefully until he hears faint noises coming from behind one of the closed doors.

He knocks softly to no effect. Holding his breath he knocks louder and the sounds stop. "Sirius," he calls. "Are you in there?"

The door flies inward and Sirius is standing there with bed tousled hair. He stares wildly, pointing his wand at Remus for a long moment then he smirks and lets his wand drop to his side. "Taking up house elf duties, Remus?"

Remus opens his mouth to reply but before he can speak Sirius' expression turns cold and he snaps a spell with a contemptuous flick of his wrist. Remus finds he cannot utter a word. He stares at the wand in Sirius' hand and wonders for the first time where he got it. Surely, they must've taken his old wand before they sent him to Azkaban. He wonders where his own wand is.

"Shut the door and put those things down," Sirius orders, falling gracefully into a winged armchair sitting across from a small table.

Remus pushes the door closed with his hip and sits the tray down in front of Sirius taking note of the dark shadows under his eyes. He looks haggard and too thin, and Remus wonders when was the last time Sirius had eaten.

A quick glance around the room shows him a tangled mess of bed clothes and several empty potions vials scattered on a bed side table.

"Dreamless Sleep draughts," Sirius says, following the direction of his eyes. His mouth twists into a self-deprecating grin, "They aren't too effective as you can see." Remus just pushes a plate of sandwiches toward Sirius and gestures.

"Oh, concerned for my welfare? That's right touching, mate." His voice is mocking but he picks up a sandwich and tears into it, making it disappear before Remus can finish pouring him a cup of tea. Sirius says nothing else until he's wolfed down the entire plate of them and swallowed three cups of tea. When he finally seems to have taken the edge off his hunger he sits back and watches Remus with an unreadable expression.

Remus lifts a hand and touches his fingertips to his throat then mouth, raising an eyebrow as he does.

"Something you're dying to tell me, Remus?"

Remus widens his eyes and nods. He holds out his hands, palms up in a silent 'please'.

Sirius' expression flickers and he worries his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment but then he shakes his head.

"Sorry," Sirius drawls. "I'm not really in the mood for conversation."

Remus sags, a line furrowing between his brows, but then he raises his chin in determination and moves to kneel by Sirius reaching a hand out to touch his knee. And just like that the fog is back and Remus finds himself on his feet walking backward until his back hits the wall.

Sirius stalks over to him and rests his wand against Remus' throat. "Don't test my patience, Remus. We both know I don't have any as it is."

He flings the bedroom door open and walks out and Remus trails behind him obediently as Sirius leads him to the topmost floor. Remus hasn't been up before and they pass by several closed doors before Sirius stops and mutters a few words that make the outline of the door glow for a moment. When the light fades the door swings open.

There are several cauldrons simmering on various tables around the room. Sirius walks over to the closest one and studies the color. "I'm sure you recognize this one," he says over his shoulder to Remus as he adds twelve lacewing flies and gives it several clockwise stirs. "Polyjuice, always a staple for the enterprising wizard."

He moves to another table and takes greater care as he adds a precise three drops of liquid to the mixture, causing it to boil up furiously for a moment before settling down to a rolling, satin sheen. "Veritaserum. Needs to brew for three more weeks." Their eyes meet and Remus steps closer strangely drawn to the smooth potion.

"I've made a few modifications," Sirius admits, gesturing at the book lying on the table. No Hogwarts textbook, that. Remus understands even with his muzzy thoughts that the book must come from the Black library. "Not ministry approved, you might well believe. The effects can be...unpredictable. So, shh, you won't tell anyone, will you?" He tips Remus a wink and then sends him off to a corner table to cut up valerian root.

The morning passes in a haze as Sirius keeps him chopping and stirring, and they only stop when Kreacher appears with a tray of food and more tea. Sirius watches him inscrutably the whole time and then tells Remus to get out.

"Run along and read a book or something, Remus." Sirius' smile doesn't reach his eyes. "You were always moaning how much you missed the Hogwarts library. This one isn't quite as good, but some of the books are so fascinating you won't be able to put them down again. And I do mean that literally. _Caveat lector_ and all that."

Remus leaves and the fog seems to lift more with every step he takes away from the door. He can hear Sirius bellowing for Kreacher as the door closes behind him. Downstairs, as he can't think what else to do, he walks along the shelves in the library examining the titles and finally loses himself in a treatise on ancient Sumerian transfiguration techniques when Walburga Black speaks from the doorway.

"So the filthy little half-blood werewolf dares show his face above stairs, does he?"

Remus hasn't seen Sirius' mother since he'd ridden the Hogwarts Express for the last time and they'd tumbled off the train into what their lives were to become now that Hogwarts was behind them. She had been there to greet Regulus, of course, and Remus had noted her when Sirius had turned away with careful nonchalance and herded them out into the London streets.

The aristocratic lines of the Black good looks are still strong in her face but she looks older, more diminished somehow. Remus wonders if it was all due to the loss of both her sons. Sirius' father, he remembers, had died a few years ago, as well, around the same time as Regulus.

Mrs. Black's tone is deceptively mild and cool, though Remus doesn't let his guard down for a moment. He's heard too many howlers sent by the woman, read too many letters before Sirius started incinerating them on sight.

"I do," he says. "It isn't as if I have much of a choice."

She smiles coldly at this and Remus can't help but be struck by her resemblance to Sirius. "No, I daresay you do not."

"Why," Remus hesitates and swallows to ease the dryness in his throat. "Why are letting him stay here?" The other parts of his question go unsaid. _Why? When you hate him so? When you disowned him?_

She seems to have an inkling of his thoughts because her voice carries a hint of dark amusement. "It's not something _you_ could understand--the burdens of blood and family." _You ill-bred little mongrel_, the haughty lift of her brow seems to add. "Oh, there's no doubting he's a weak, despicable blood traitor who isn't fit to be my son. But...he _is_ still blood, and he's finally realizing the benefits of just what that blood can do for him."

Her face is frightening and remote, and he can see that half-mad light in her eyes that he had always imagined when the sound of her shrieks had filled the Great Hall with her imprecations and curses.

"Do you know what he intends to do?" And, oh, it hurts to have to ask _her_ that, but he isn't allowed to ask Sirius. She smiles sharp as the edge of a knife.

"Why, he's going to make people pay for what they did to him, of course, and more importantly he's going make the ones who killed my Regulus suffer the way I've suffered. Just as he's going to make you suffer when he's done playing his little games with you."

Remus steps back from the expression that twists her face. "It's all I can bear to have a vile, dirty-blooded nobody of a no account family infesting my rooms like a pestilent doxy." She doesn't look pretty now at all. Little bits of spittle fly as she begins to shout. "You're unnatural, corrupting my son with your unmentionable filth. Dirty little vermin with your wicked perversions. Did you think I didn't know?"

The blood drains out of Remus' face but his anger rises. Without thinking he lashes back. "This from the woman who didn't have to change her surname when she got married?"

Quick as a viper she points her wand and a bloody gash flays open across his cheekbone. He lifts shaky fingers to touch it and looks at his bloody fingertips.

"Mother!" Sirius is suddenly between them and his mother gasps as she staggers back from an unseen force. "Haven't I told you not to touch my things?" His voice is light and chiding as if he is amused, but his hands are gentle as he lifts Remus' chin and whispers the counter spell. Remus can't look away, not because of the curse this time, but because Sirius is looking at him the way he used to before the war took its toll and everything started changing too fast to control. And then Remus realizes there is nothing stopping him from speaking and his eyes widen.

But Sirius breaks the connection and pushes Remus toward the door. "Go to bed," he says, his expression darkening as Remus hesitates. "Go!"

Mrs. Black's eyes glitter as she watches Remus pass, but she holds her silence as one of her pale hands flutters up to her throat, twisting at the broach pinned against the high collar of her robes.

"I need your help, Mother," Sirius says as Remus disappears down the dark hall.

It must be very late when Remus is woken by the light from Sirius' wand or maybe it's the sound of his voice calling his name. Whatever it is, Remus is befuddled and slow to respond. He uncurls from the cubby hole under one of the pantry shelves and blinks up at Sirius.

"This is where you've been sleeping?" Sirius asks.

Still confused, Remus looks at the heavy quilt lining the space and back up at Sirius. "Prime house elf location." His voice sounds thick and gravelly and Remus swallows heavily trying to clear his throat.

Sirius snorts. "Come on." He doesn't wait to see that Remus follows though Remus does of course, padding up the stairs after Sirius curiously.

Sirius leads him to what Remus thinks is the room next to his. Sirius opens the door and gestures Remus in. "Wait here." Remus stands in the middle of the room blinking tiredly while Sirius disappears. He returns in a moment with a pair of pajamas that he tosses on the bed.

"The little toerag knew I didn't mean for you to sleep below stairs,"

"You did tell him to forgo the niceties," Remus reminds him.

"I meant he didn't need to break out the finest linens," Sirius retorts, but he sounds almost amused.

"I thought you did mean it. You know...part of your revenge. Punishment."

Sirius narrows his eyes at that and he moves close to Remus. "Do you deserve punishment, Remus?" His voice is low and dangerous and Remus suppresses a shiver.

"If I say no will you believe me?" Sirius stares at him for a long moment then twists his mouth up in a humorless smirk. "The Veritaserum isn't ready yet."

"Sirius," Remus says, pleading, not wanting to lose this chance. "I know you think I was spying, that I--"

"Shut up!" Sirius hisses.

"But I wasn't! Please, Sirius..."

Sirius fists his hand in Remus' shirt and tugs him forward. "Shut. Up. Or you won't talk for a month."

It's all Remus can do to bite the words back. His throat is tight with it, his chest aching. Sirius is so close yet so untouchable. Unconsciously, Remus wets his lips and Sirius' eyes flicker down to his mouth.

_Sirius_, he mouths the word without sound and suddenly Sirius' mouth is on his and Remus is being pushed back until his legs hit the bed. They fall onto it together still kissing. And this is better than _Imperio_, better than any Euphoria draught they had brewed up at school, better than anything because it's been so long and so impossible, and Remus wants to crawl inside Sirius and never come out.

He almost sobs when Sirius thrusts him away and rolls off the bed. Sirius stands by the bed panting and staring at Remus with wild eyes, and then, swiftly, he crouches over him, one hand circling Remus' throat and pressing him to the mattress. "You'll know when I mean to punish you, Remus," he purrs. "It won't even be a question."

Sirius leaves without another word and Remus curls up in the center of the bed, shaking, and tries to sleep.

 

[4. Monsters and Spells]

Life settles into a routine that only varies on Sirius' whim. Most days he spends on the top floor developing his potions and researching the family tomes for interesting spells to modify or use for inspiration in creating his own hexes and charms that suit whatever plan he has outlined in his head.

Sometimes he has Remus there to help him and other days, when Sirius is in a particularly black mood, he sends him away. Remus tries to stay away from Mrs. Black on those days, but he can't avoid the occasional run in. He knows the situation is getting critical when he begins to find some of her cutting remarks amusing, at least when they're directed at people outside 12 Grimmauld Place, and at those who Remus has no fondness for in the first place. Sometimes, if he's quite truthful, she reminds of him a great deal of Sirius. Though, as he values his life, he will never ever admit that out loud.

Even Kreacher has come to accept his presence more or less, and Remus' unfailing patience with him has earned him, he thinks, a slightly higher place in Kreacher's affections than Sirius holds despite his inferior blood and werewolf taint.

Sirius has stopped using _Imperio_ as long as Remus stays mostly quiet around him, so Remus has learned to control himself, and Sirius hasn't touched him since the night Remus had moved upstairs.

One day he goes to Sirius' workroom and finds Sirius standing at the far end of the room. Remus can see the faint shimmer of wards and moves next to Sirius curious about what he's done. At first, he sees nothing but then he gasps as what looks like a black shadow glides out of the corner and across the floor.

"Is that a lethifold?" he asks incredulously. Instinctive fear makes him take a step back. He remembers a horrid story from one of his childhood books that gave him nightmares for weeks. His mother had been furious at his father for reading it to him.

"It is."

Remus flicks a glance at Sirius before turning a fascinated stare back at the creature.

"What are you feeding it?" Sirius' teeth gleam. "Rats."

Remus can appreciate the grim humor.

"Did you know that some people posit a relationship between lethifolds and dementors," Sirius says in an almost conversational tone, but Remus hears the tightness in his voice. "Some think that the dementors might have originally been created when a lethifold consumed a wizard. Somehow the wizard didn't die exactly, but was absorbed into the essence of the lethifold, or vice versa, and well..."

"Sounds vile." Remus shuddered. "Where did you get it and _why_?"

"I had Kreacher fetch it for me. He had to go a long way. You might have noticed he hasn't been around the past few days." Sirius looks at Remus and smiles, but his eyes are dull and shadowed. "As for why, I don't particularly like the idea of hundreds of dementors floating about England sucking the happiness and souls out of people. Sod the Patronus Charm. I'm going to work out how to obliterate every last one of them."

Remus stares at Sirius with wide eyes, watching him watch the lethifold undulate back and forth across the floor, testing the boundary of the wards. "What can I do to help?" This time, the smile does reach his eyes.

Remus has always known that Sirius and James were the cleverest boys at Hogwarts, but the sheer inventiveness that Sirius displays still has the ability to astound and impress Remus. When Kreacher shows up one day soon after with Sirius' own wand, stolen from the Closed Case room at the Ministry, Sirius' experimentation ratchets to an even higher level.

"Dead useful having a house elf." Sirius grins as he twirls his wand between his fingers. "Don't know why it took me so long to appreciate that." In a rare display of what Remus thinks of as the old Sirius, he bends down and places a sound smacking kiss on the top of Kreacher's head. "Good show, old boy!" Kreacher is actually rendered speechless for once and wanders out with a rather dazed expression.

Sirius gets to work right away. "Living blanket, eh?" he says and attempts to transfigure the lethifold into a nice tartan throw. "In honor of McGonagall." For a while, it looks as if it might be that simple, but an hour later the throw begins to flutter and the pattern starts to bleed and darken, and soon the lethifold is back, pitch black and flinging itself against the boundaries of the wards like a moth to a flame. They both shudder and Remus goes back to the books to search for ways to strengthen the spell while Sirius tries other tricks.

Remus gets so caught up in the pattern of the days that he actually forgets about the approaching full moon until his bones start to ache and he can feel the wolf growing stronger inside him. He can hardly believe he's been here almost a month, and he looks away from his work to gaze out the window at the darkening sky. Sirius is watching him knowingly when he finally turns away and sighs.

"You should go to bed. Save your strength for tomorrow night," he says.

"What are you going to do with me?" Remus says. He doesn't ask if Padfoot will be there with him. He's too afraid of the answer.

He could swear that Sirius' eyes soften, though. "I've prepared a room in the basement. If I could--if it was safe to go out right now I would take you somewhere you could run around."

"It's all right." Remus tries not to let the words fill him with too much hope, but his chest tightens up anyway. "I'll be fine."

"As if you would ever say if you weren't." It's a familiar refrain and they both smile.

"Goodnight, Sirius," Remus says quietly.

"Goodnight, Remus."

Before Remus turns away, Sirius looks away from him and casually says, "The Veritaserum will be ready tomorrow, as well."

The smile fades from Remus' face.

 

[5. House elves and Horcruxes]

Remus survives the moon and though he can't remember he's almost sure that Padfoot had joined him. He can't be absolutely certain because Sirius is nowhere to be seen when he wakes. Instead, Kreacher is there with potions and salve and bandages, and he mutters over Remus as he tends surprisingly well to his wounds.

"Where's Sirius, Kreacher?" Remus asks him after he's been helped to bed at Kreacher's insistence-- "Master's orders"--and provided with tea and biscuits.

"Master says he is not to be disturbed today. You is to be staying in bed and Kreacher is to be ironing his ears if you is stirring one foot out of this room."

Of course Sirius knew that would ensure Remus obeyed. "I solemnly swear to stay put for today. But, between you and me, Kreacher, Master Sirius is a right pain in the arse."

Remus could swear he sees Kreacher's mouth turn up before he turns away to putter with the teapot. He presses a cup of tea into Remus' hands and edges toward the door.

"Wait, Kreacher. If you're not too busy..." The idea of being shut up in his room alone all day with nothing but the creepy noises of the house to keep him company make Remus feel vaguely ill. And Kreacher has already told him that his Mistress is indisposed and shut away in her room for the day. According to Sirius, she has a lot of those days. "Do you play chess?"

He isn't really expecting a positive answer but Kreacher's ears perk up and he beams. "Master Regulus taught Kreacher to play. Kreacher used to play with Master when he was home from school."

Kreacher has a creditable knowledge of the game and Remus wonders how lonely Regulus must have been to have had the time and inclination to teach chess to his family's house elf.

"He taught you well," Remus says and Kreacher smiles proudly. "Master Regulus was always good to Kreacher. Always had a kind words for Kreacher."

"You must miss him very much."

"Kreacher does. Kreacher misses Master Regulus every day." Suddenly, Kreacher's ears are drooping and fat tears are welling up in his bulging eyes.

Alarmed, Remus struggles to sit up higher in the bed. He hisses as a scratch across his chest opens and fresh blood blooms across the bandage. "Kreacher, what's wrong? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say anything to upset you."

Kreacher wails louder. "Master Regulus ordered Kreacher to leave him and Kreacher did."

"What?" Confused, Remus gapes at Kreacher as he continues sobbing. "What do you mean? Left him where?"

His eyes get wider and wider as a story about Voldemort and a locket and a cave and a poisonous potion comes spilling out between Kreacher's sobs.

"And did you destroy it, then? Do you know what it was? Why it was so important?"

Kreacher starts a fresh set of wails and when Remus learns that the locket hasn't been destroyed and is, in fact, still in the house Remus starts to climb out of bed.

"You mustn't. Master Sirius said you must stay in bed!" Kreacher began hopping from one foot to the other in consternation.

"All right, I'm sorry. I'll get back in bed, but you have to get Sirius. You have to bring him now."

"Master said not to disturb him," Kreacher protested.

"But he'll want to hear this, Kreacher. It's _urgent_. Mistress will, too, when she is well. Please, Kreacher, fetch Sirius and...and if he won't come...tell him I'm bleeding. Tell him I need him."

 

[6. Truth and Consequences ]

"Do you really think Kreacher will be able to break into Dumbledore's private quarters at Hogwarts without being caught?" Remus asks Sirius skeptically.

"Why not? He says he can do it. House elves have magic most people don't know about and don't understand." Sirius reaches up to stroke the heavy locket hanging about his neck and Remus narrows his eyes. That particular gesture is becoming a habit, and one that worries him as they don't know exactly what the thing is or does yet.

"Besides, the cloak doesn't belong to him. It belongs to James. Well, Harry now. And he has no right to keep it. He has no right to Harry either, and as soon I take care of Wormtail I'll take Harry away from that poisonous cow Lily called a sister."

Although Remus agrees with the sentiment, privately the idea of Sirius being near Harry now is frightening. God knows, they're all just a little bit mad in this house, and in some cases a lot. He's just not sure where Sirius fits on that scale these days.

Sirius turns out to be right, though. Kreacher returns with the cloak and Sirius heaps praise on him, and Remus just offers a tight nervous smile and asks if anyone saw him. Kreacher vehemently denies this and Remus apologizes for doubting.

"Now what?" he asks.

Sirius smiles. "We start going after the Death Eaters. I want Wormtail first, but I know him. He's gone to ground somewhere. Won't poke his nose out while he feels unsafe. It's too bad my escape made the papers, but I figure we can poke a few people and see what turns up."

"Do you think he's still anywhere around here? If I were him I'd have run very far away, lived as a muggle in some crowded city. America maybe."

"_You_ might," Sirius scoffs. "But how many times has dumpy little Peter put himself in the way of hardship when he didn't have others to look out for him? Do you think he could last five minutes in the muggle world? Not bloody likely."

Sirius has a point. "But he can't be living in the wizarding world. He's too recognizable. His picture was plastered in all the papers, as well."

"Not as a human he can't." Sirius says significantly.

"Oh, but, he'd be impossible to find then. He could be anywhere, and we'd never know."

"He does have _one_ distinguishing characteristic now. Besides I'd recognize the foul little rodent anywhere."

Remus frowns and then his mouth makes a small circle. "You mean his finger...his missing finger. Still, Padfoot, that's a long shot." He doesn't notice Sirius stiffen and his gaze lock on Remus at his use of the nickname. "We can't just go hunting for rats through London like the Pied Piper."

"Who's the Pied Piper?"

"Oh, never mind, you know what I mean. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack."

"So, we'll start with Plan A for now, like I said."

Remus nods, but he can't hide the worry that creases his forward. "What exactly are you planning to do to them?"

Sirius smiles tightly. "You'll see." He's playing with the locket again, stroking his fingers almost lovingly over the dull patina of the silver.

After a moment, Remus looks away, fixing on a point over Sirius' shoulder. "I'm surprised you haven't asked me."

"Asked you what?" Sirius frowns.

"What I know about Peter. Where he is. Where my loyalties lie." Remus' mouth twists up in a bitter smile. "Because maybe you haven't cast any Unforgivable curses on me lately, but I haven't held my wand in a month and a half, and you sure as fuck haven't told me everything that you're planning. That big cauldron of Veritaserum, it wasn't just for the Death Eaters was it? You started making it almost the day we got here, so why haven't you used it on me yet? Are you that scared of what you might find out?"

"Should I be?" Just like that Sirius is dangerous again. His voice is low and silky and he rolls off the table where he'd been perched and invades Remus space with a half-repressed eagerness and something darker that makes Remus' mouth go dry.

He's angry though, angry from the weight of all these weeks settling on him like a suffocating blanket, like the lethifold has escaped its cage and is just waiting for the right moment to consume him.

"Fuck you, Sirius. Why should you have the right to keep questioning me?"

It's almost mesmerizing watching the anger flare up in Sirius' eyes. His lip curls and he isn't gentle when his hand grips Remus' arm. "Because...because..."

"Because," Remus taunts and Sirius' fingers tighten around his arm until Remus winces.

"Because James is dead! And you owe me answers, so just fucking tell me!"

"There are no answers. Not to James being dead. It's _wrong_. But it wasn't me. I wasn't the spy. I swear it. I swear to you I wasn't."

And still...and still Remus sees the doubt flicker in Sirius' eyes. He jerks away with a strangled sob.

"What about you? All I have is your word that Peter is still alive. All I have is your word that you switched Secret Keepers. Why should I believe you? You've been acting completely barking since we've been here. You kidnapped me, cast the fucking Imperius curse on me repeatedly. You've got a bleeding lethifold in one of your spare bedrooms, and _you're_ questioning _me_?"

"Shut up!"

"Make me!"

Faster than Remus can blink Sirius has his wand out and resting on Remus' sternum. "You..." he breathes. And then the fog is seeping into Remus' thoughts again, but pure outrage that Sirius is doing this to him _again_ almost shreds it into so many wisps. He knows he could shrug it off. He always could have really. But like the other times he wonders why. Why bother? It's easier dealing with a Sirius who's not in his right mind if Remus isn't either.

And this time when they kiss there's no struggle at all because it's exactly what Sirius wants. When Sirius moans against his mouth and tells him to take off his clothes, Remus' fingers make easy work of the buttons. The hands stroking over his body, the lips pressing against his throat are delightful, and when hands replace lips, moving up to circle his throat and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze as the locket swings in looping circles above his face, Remus offers Sirius a blissful smile even as his vision begins to go dark around the edges.

The sudden return to stark reality is shocking and Remus finds himself curled and up coughing, gasping for air, as Sirius shrinks away in horror holding his shaking hands in front of his face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Remus. I can't--_help me_." Remus can see Sirius struggling to remove the locket. His arms are straining as if they are lifting a huge weight and Remus understands that whatever the thing is, it is filled with dark and malevolent magic. He rolls to his knees and lurches forward to grab the chain and wrench it away from Sirius. Without a care, he tosses it across the room and wraps his arms around Sirius' shaking body.

"You fucking idiot," he gasps. "I told you not to wear that thing around your neck."

He holds Sirius until the tremors stop.

"I'm sorry," Sirius says in a broken whisper. "I believe you. I do. Just...Peter kept saying things. He kept after and after it about you. And I didn't want to believe it. I tried not to. And then...after...after...James. And I confronted Peter he said...again...and I...I'm sorry. I was going to...I don't know...when I found you...but I got you here and I couldn't let you talk because I didn't know what I would _do_ if you admitted you were a traitor and I didn't know what I would do if you denied it. I'm so fucked up, so fucked up. And the dementors, you don't know, the dreams wouldn't stop and this _house_ and my mother, and...I'm sorry, sorry Moony."

Remus doesn't try to hush him. He lets Sirius spill all the words out and just rocks him until the words wind down and Sirius finally raises his red-rimmed eyes. Then Remus just nods and pulls away so that he can push to his feet as Sirius watches with growing worry. "Remus," he whispers.

"It's going to be all right, Sirius," Remus says, feeling oddly detached, almost numb. "But, you understand, I have to be sure that you're sure." He walks to the table holding the Veritaserum and unstoppers one of the vials.

"No!" Sirius cries. "That was never meant for you. Not _really_." He's on his feet and moving but before he can reach Remus, three drops have landed on his outstretched tongue.

"Now," Remus gasps as the liquid scorches through him and he begins to learn just what kinds of modifications to the potion Sirius has made. "Ask me anything."

[7. Portkeys and Promises]

"Mr. Malfoy?" The nondescript wizard who seems to appear from nowhere bobs humbly before Lucius Malfoy.

"And who might you be?" Lucius asks disdainfully.

"No one of importance, Sir, just have a message for ya'." The wizard holds out a bit of parchment and Lucius takes a long moment to peer down his nose before reluctantly accepting it.

_The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black is located at 12 Grimmauld Place._

Lucius frowns. "What is the meaning of this?"

The wizard takes a quick look around the deserted hallway and grins. "Portus." Chortling at the look on Malfoy's face as he's tugged away, the wizard spins a shimmering cloak over his head and turns on his heel.

By the time he's popped back to the front porch and made it through the door and up the stairs, Lucius is already bound in the straight-backed chair they'd selected just for him, and Remus is lounging gracefully against the wall, wand twirling between his fingertips. They grin at each other.

Lucius is sitting rigidly in his bonds not deigning to struggle but his look is pure poison. Sirius can only imagine what lovely curses would be gracing their ears if he wasn't sporting that wonderful gag Remus had conjured up.

"Lucius," Sirius drawls. "You look fit to be tied."

He and Remus break down in laughter as Lucius fumes helplessly.

When they've finished their laugh, Remus looks at Sirius and vanishes the gag with a flick of his wand. Lucius works his jaw for a moment, then turns his cold gaze on Remus. "Remus Lupin? I haven't the slightest idea what you're doing in this house, but you've obviously taken utter leave of your senses. If you release me immediately I will see to it that you receive a lenient punishment."

Remus smiles and makes a little bow. "How kind, Lucius. Always so solicitous. Unfortunately, I am not the host of this charming little soirée, so I must defer to his wishes." He nods toward Sirius.

Sirius gives a breezy wave.

"Who _are_ you?"

"I'm the person who caught you shagging Cissy in the wine cellar Christmas of '74."

That has an effect. Lucius' eyes widen. "Sirius Black? So you _did_ escape. Most impressive."

"Flattery, as deserved as it may be, won't get you far here, Lucius old boy. What we're in search of are answers, a little Death Eater gossip, a promise or two, that kind of thing."

Lucius clamps his mouth shut and shakes his head violently as Sirius approaches with the vial. "Pinch his nose, Remus, while I dump this in."

The Veritaserum tells them a lot but it can only go so far. They need Lucius to _do_ things for them, and willingly, more or less. Remus tells Sirius it's too risky to try and keep an Imperius curse going long term, especially when he's as shite at them as Sirius is. They almost get into an argument when Remus accuses him of not having thought things through at all, but then Sirius has a flash of inspiration.

"You're going to make an Unbreakable Vow, Lucius."

He smiles icily. "I assure you, I am not."

When they push his chair up right against the wards containing the lethifold and begin the spell to lower them Lucius capitulates almost instantly.

Relying on Remus' keen ear for nuance, they craft a loophole-proof vow that ensures Lucius will not only keep all their secrets and forgo future Death Eater activity and service to Dark Lords unless he is working on their say so, but that he will actively protect Harry Potter to the best of his ability, including the influencing of his family (current and future) to hold Harry in regard and protect him in the same way. In addition, he will contact any Death Eaters he knows, _Imperio_ them and send them to the Ministry to make a full confession of all their crimes. A last minute codicil by Sirius, requires that Lucius actively campaign for the removal of dementors as prison guards at Azkaban which meets with Remus' proud approval. Remus is almost ready to pull his wand away when he is struck with a thought and he adds one last clause to the vow.

They eagerly await the _Prophet_ each day, pouncing on it as soon as Kreacher brings it in. It's five days later before they strike gold.

The headlines scream across the page: TOTS TRAP RAT! PETTIGREW EXPOSED! BLACK INNOCENT! DEATH EATER ROUNDUP! MINISTRY APPROVAL RATING SKYROCKETS!

The main spread features a family of red heads. The parents are in the background holding a toddler between them. In the foreground are five young boys, they all beam and wave excitedly to the camera except for one who stands off to the side looking rather put out.

"Aw, Gid and Fab would be so proud. Brilliant idea, Moony, to have Lucius pretend to have been obliviated and just now start remembering all about Wormtail and what a foul little pest he is."

Remus smiles modestly. "I'm just glad spreading the word quietly worked. We were lucky. It could've backfired and sent Peter running if he caught wind of it. But you were definitely right about him being too soft to go far. We should have known he'd end up at the Weasleys. Wormtail always was in raptures when the Prewetts brought in a dish made by Molly to share around."

Sirius snorts in amusement and pushes the paper away. "So what next?"

"Well," Remus says more gravely. "We have to find that cave. You did promise your mother."

"I would do it anyway. I don't want to leave Regulus' there. I hate to think of how he died."

Remus takes Sirius' hand and squeezes it. "He was very brave, very much like you, and we won't let what he did be wasted."

Sirius squeezes back gratefully. "We have to figure out what that locket is," Sirius agrees, though he can't suppress a shudder.

"And that diary Lucius sent us, for that matter," Remus adds. "It definitely has the same sort of dark magic associated with it."

"So generous of Lucius to pass it on, don't you think?" They both snigger.

"I was thinking," says Remus carefully after a moment. "That maybe we might want to show them to Dumbledore sometime soon. I know you've had your differences with him, but he knows a lot and he could probably help."

Sirius looks a bit stubborn, but he nods slowly.

"And we don't want to be at odds, you know. I think we should set things right." Remus squeezes his hand again. "You know, for Harry."

"Yeah, James and Lily would want that."

 

[8. Moony and Padfoot]

"Are you sure you warded the roof properly?"

"Of course I am."

Sirius makes a grab for Remus as he circles the apparatus with a doubtful scowl.

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Because tonight is a total lunar eclipse and that means extra magic juice and we'll have well over an hour of non-wolf time in the middle of it to shag."

"Magic juice?"

"Shut it, Moony."

Sirius wraps his arms around Remus from behind and rests his chin on his shoulder making Remus 'oof' as he squeezes him.

"No, no. You stun with me the depth and breadth of your specialized knowledge. Please _do_ strap me to this lightning rod-shaped thingamy even though there's a good chance of rain this evening. My confidence in your preparations is unparalleled."

"Your sarcasm is so wounding, Moony, did anyone ever tell you that? Just you wait until the big climax."

Remus snorts.

"Don't think I buy for one minute that 'sex magic is a vastly under-developed branch of the thaumaturgical arts' bit you keep trying to sell. And adding the sincere eyes and the scrunched up nose does nothing to persuade me."

"I never denied there might be a few ulterior motives involved, but it _is_ groundbreaking theory we're testing! Generative magic! Magical storage cells! Even Dumbledore is interested in the results!"

"You told Dumbledore?!"

"We have an arrangement," Sirius says sheepishly. "He helps me out with certain hard to get magical items I need for my experiments and I keep him abreast of the latest developments before I pass them on to the commercial interests."

"And what's in it for your assistant?"

Sirius grins and nips Remus' earlobe. "Mind blowing sex and anything else he wants."

"Hmph. From where I'm standing nothing has 'developed' yet," Remus points out.

"Oh, but it will." Sirius trills a purr as he slides a hand between Remus' legs.

"So," Remus says breathlessly. "Will it effect your experiment if we...ah...generate some magical energy before moonrise?"

"Let me just hook you up to the copper whatsits!"

"Oh, God. I'm going to die tonight aren't I, Dr. Frankenstein?"

"Dr. Who?"

"No, he's a different fellow. Talk to me again when you're ready to mess about with that time turner."

"Do shut up, Moony." Sirius directs Remus into the center of the marked out circle. "Just lie down right there. There's a good boy. Now..."

"Oi! You vanished my clothes!"

"How did you think we were going to do this?"

"It's windy up here!"

"Don't worry, I'll keep you warm."

"Did I just feel a sprinkle?"

"No! Now hush. I'm just about to conduct a very important experiment."

"Which experiment is this?"

"The one where I see if I can suck your brains out through your cock."

"Oh, _oh_," Remus gasps and arches his neck back. He laughs maniacally as the rain began to fall.

"It's alive!"


End file.
